Loving and Sympathetic Friends - Pt 8
Read: II Samuel 12-15
Our children need to make friends who can lovingly sympathize with them. They should avoid friends who commiserate with them in their anger, discontent, lust, vanity, and pride. A good friend will lovingly sympathize by putting themselves in their friend’s place and considering what will be best for their friend, and what will harm their friend.
In 2 Samuel 12, the LORD sent the Prophet Nathan to David. The Prophet told David a story about a rich man and a poor man. It went something like this…
A rich man was entertaining a visitor one day. When it came time for supper, the rich man took the poor man’s only lamb for their meal, instead of preparing a lamb from one of his own numerous flocks.
After David heard this story, it says in 2 Samuel 12:5 that David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to the Prophet Nathan, “As the LORD lives, the man who has done this shall surely die! And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb because he had not pity.”
Pity or "chamal" means to have compassion for or to sympathize with someone. David was enraged by Nathan’s story when he thought of the poor man and put himself in the poor man’s place. You can imagine the shock David felt when Nathan said to David, "You are the man!" As we know from the previous section of Scripture, David had not acted with loving sympathy towards Uriah the Hittite, which is why he could perform so wickedly toward him. David had only thought of himself. Had he put himself in Uriah’s place, perhaps he would not have stolen his wife and organized his murder. David’s ability to lovingly sympathize with the poor man in Nathan’s story helped him understand his sin against Uriah.
This is why just a few verses later, in 2 Samuel 12:13, David cries, “I have sinned against the LORD." David understood that his sin against Uriah was a sin against God because God loved Uriah and sympathized with him, and David’s sin and thoughtless treatment of him enraged God.
In 2 Samuel 13, David sympathizes with Amnon after he sinned against David’s daughter, Tamar. Unfortunately, David’s sympathy was wrong because Amnon’s punishment did not fit his transgression. Since David had earlier been caught in adultery, David could sympathize with Amnon. However, his sympathy only saw the person before him (Amnon, his son whom he loved) and not what brought Amnon before David in judgment. David did not consider the crime committed and who it was against. His sympathy and mercy belittled the crime and the victims (his daughter Tamar.)
Our children need friends who do not let their desire to sympathize with people cause them to overlook sin. The miscarriage of justice by David in 2 Samuel 13 planted seeds of rebellion in another of David’s sons, Absalom. It is no accident that Absalom later chose to undermine David’s authority by standing at the city gate and taking the king’s place in making what he considered to be fair judgments. In his mind, Absalom was righting the perceived wrong and injustice done by David to his sister.
Commiserating around perceived wrongs done in the past can be very alluring. The instant sense of camaraderie that unites such people can lead to fast friendships. This sort of friendship can be desirable, but it is always dangerous, leading to anger, bitterness, and ultimately destruction, just like it did for Absalom.
In conclusion, our children must have friends who will lovingly call out sin in their lives. They should have friends who will be kind and sympathetic when they fall into sin; however, their friends also need to be able to lovingly challenge them with meekness and humility when required. This loving, sympathetic relationship is one of the great benefits of having godly friends.
Recommended Reading:
Probable Sons (6-11)
House of Love (9-14)
Winter’s Folly (9-14)
The Locked Cupboard (12-99)
