Wisdom Lesson 7 - Be On Guard
Reflective Reading: Proverbs 5
From Proverbs 5, until the end of the Wisdom lessons in chapter 9, we see a myriad of discussions for the son. What started with obeying mom and dad moved into the realms of choosing friends wisely, heeding correction, growing in favor with God and man, acquiring wisdom at a cost, and enjoying pure intimacy. This is the time that every parent is faced with that “birds and the bees” discussion. I can remember my dad taking me for a ride on a country road and having this discussion with me. It was awkward for both of us. He tried the best he could, but I was just as confused as before our talk. The only misunderstanding that I had on the subject (yes, I said misunderstanding) was what I heard from my peers. Sadly, their understanding of sex was what they had gleaned from magazines and hearsay from their peers and godless parents who lived in the neighborhood.
Today, even in many of our homeschool circles, no matter how much you want to protect your children they will be exposed to perverted views of the sacred and beautiful experience of sexual intimacy. Therefore, this discussion on the subject of sex from the pages of Proverbs 5 is right on schedule. The Wisdom lessons so far have been sequential. Each one has built upon the prior lesson and ultimately leads to the center, or, central lessons on the important subject of sex.
I use the word center/central because these 12 Wisdom lessons are actually a mirror image of each other, bringing chapters 4 and 5 as the center. The chart below will give you a detailed view of this amazing literary masterpiece. When I discovered this I was literally dancing around the room! If someone offered me a billion dollars to destroy this chart and never teach on it, the answer would be a resounding NO! To find treasure such as this is often a once in a lifetime experience. I invite you to take some time to study the chart. As you do, notice how A has similar content to A’, B to B’, C to C’, and so forth. If you work your way from both ends to the center you will find chapters 4 and 5.
The truths that are placed in the center of the father’s teaching are the “hinge” of the Wisdom lessons. It is at this juncture that the son has to make some of the most difficult decisions of his life. He’s entering into young manhood, his body is changing, and sexual temptations will arouse his appetites for the first time. All that he has learned up to this point has given him the knowledge needed to make wise decisions—except for understanding what to do with sexual desires and temptations. As always, the father is right on time, and he doesn’t sugar coat the lesson. He begins by saying:
My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline you ear to my discernment, that you may protect discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to hell. (5:1-5)
Wow! Can you imagine having this talk with your father? I don’t know about you, but my dad never mentioned anything about going to hell if I got involved in immoral acts before marriage. He never mentioned that certain kinds of girls would shorten my life. This is what you call straight talk. This is what you call putting the fear of the LORD in you—and that is exactly what is needed today. Can you imagine if parents, teachers, pastors, and leaders started to have this kind of straight talk with their children?
Realizing that his son is at the age where he will soon face treacherous temptations and luring seductions, the father explains that certain girls never consider the consequences of their actions. Pay attention to what the father says next:
She does not consider the path of life; her ways are moveable, and she does not know it. (5:6)
Her lack of consideration causes her to live a reckless and promiscuous life. She doesn’t have a care in the world because she simply doesn’t care. The danger for the son is that her risky and risqué behavior, as tantalizing and enjoyable as it may be for a time, will cost him more than he realizes. The father says:
And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house. (5:7-8)
The father’s warning is clear—stay away from her! Don’t even go near her house. Why? He admonishes his son that time spent with her will be more costly than he could imagine. The father gives additional explanation of what time spent with her will cost him (verses 8-11):
His honor to others
His years to the merciless
His full strength to strangers
His hard work to foreigners
Finally, when he is at the end of his life, he will groan, and his flesh and body will be consumed.
These costs represent the son losing his:
Virtue
Vigor
Valor
Value
Vitality
What a great loss! And for what? A one-night stand? Even if his immoral pleasures lasted a lifetime, there is all of eternity to account for. Let’s keep reading.
And you say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.”(5:12-14)
Do you see that? Correction once again makes an appearance as the son is face to face with the consequences of his actions.
For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? (Matthew 16:26)
As we come to the end of the chapter, we see the concluding warnings and motivating rewards filled with unforgettable imagery. Rather than wait for the son to be influenced with the world’s pornographic imagery, the father ends his teaching by giving his son a godly view of sex with his future wife:
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (5:18-19)
Rather than wasting his life on forbidden and false intimacy, the father instructs his son to look forward to his future wife’s intoxicating love. Our boys need a healthy view of sex. Rather than wait for the culture to pervert such a holy and beautiful part of God’s creation, our youth need to be taught about the fulfilling experience of sex that can only be his when he’s married. Therefore, he needs to guard his eyes and heart so that his experience is filled with all the wonders and joys that God created. To violate his father’s instruction will lead to his ruin, thus the father says:
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? (5:20)
As the father brings Wisdom Lesson 7 to a close, he reminds his son that if he lets his guard down there will be no escape from the loose woman, and neither is there any escape from the eyes of the LORD:
A man's ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his paths. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. (5:21)
If I was the author of this Proverb, I would have ended with the cords of sin as a warning. But the father has one more reminder. He isn’t through with his primary theme of—CORRECTION. Correction is the foundation of all other lessons—it is the foundation for wisdom. If the son is willing to listen and to obey his father’s correction then he will be more willing to listen to God’s correction and become wise. If not, then his father has one last word for him:
He will die for lack of correction, and because of the greatness of his folly he is led astray. (5:23)
Wisdom or Folly…as always, the choice is his.
Dr. Mark Hamby
Recommended Reading:
Idols of the Heart (Ages 12+)
Jessica’s Journey Audio Drama (Ages 9-14)
The Three Weavers (All Ages)
The Secret Bridge (Ages 12+) (also available as an audiobook)
Basket of Flowers book and audio drama (Ages 9-14)
