Wisdom Lesson 8 - Loose Words, Loose Women, and Loss of Life
Reflective Reading: Proverbs 6
Today’s Wisdom lesson is full of surprises, and it all begins with what appears to be a warning concerning business partnerships and contracts.
My son, if thou be surety for thy friend…
The word surety carries the idea of a pledge or a promise to be a security for someone’s debts. The father is warning his son to stay away from securing anyone’s debts—his closest friend included! A surety in today’s culture would be similar to a friend asking you to co-sign for a bank loan in order to help them buy a car.
I started off by saying that this Wisdom lesson “appears” to be teaching about business partnerships and contracts. Though partnerships and contracts are a part of the context, the warning has a much deeper focus. This is really a lesson about immoral relationships. Let’s read more,
My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, you have struck hands with a stranger…
Notice that the father has introduced an additional character in his story—the stranger. The word stranger in Hebrew (Zur) can refer to a foreigner or a woman of immoral character. In order for the son to help his friend with his indebtedness, he must also agree to the terms of his friend’s debtor. As soon as the two strike hands, the son is in a binding agreement with someone of immoral character.
It is crucial to understand that the son’s friend is not just making a bad business decision. The friend is somehow in debt to this immoral stranger who, as we will see, has one main goal in mind—to destroy his life. And not only will he or she destroy his friend’s life but she is after the son’s life too, and the father knows it. This should come as no surprise. Jesus taught that:
All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers . . . The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. (John 10:8,10)
Our children and young adults are currently being destroyed. Never have I seen such evil and destructive forces taking place in our schools, homes, churches, hospitals, sports, government—in virtually all areas of our lives. Some of the more dangerous traps our children face in modern times are the recent sextortion schemes. Dads, moms, and grandparents, this is one of the most destructive traps our teens face today. Once they are entrapped by this lurid enticement, some teens feel so hopeless that the only way out is suicide. If they’re on the internet, chances are high that they will be confronted with this devilish enticement.
So, what can we do to protect our children from such entrapments? Proverbs 6:1-3 advises they stay away from friends who find themselves in questionable moral situations and relationships. That is easy to write, but not easy to practice, especially when you have close friends and would do almost anything to help them. If your empathy, however, is greater than your moral convictions, then you can be sure that you will become liable for much more than you bargained for. You can be sure that the “strange woman” is coming after her pound of flesh (Proverbs 6:26).
If God says to refrain from pledges and promises with friends who are indebted to others of questionable character, then we must not rationalize things or give in to our emotions. Wisdom knows what will happen if the son disregards the father’s teaching. The strange woman may seem attractive, articulate, wealthy, and wise, but she has one goal in mind—to destroy the son. You can justify the situation as much as you want, but do not be deceived: bad company will corrupt good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33).
What the father teaches next sheds light on the root of the problem:
Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.
The real problem with the son’s foolish decision was that he made it rashly and without thinking. He needs to learn the importance of waiting before making decisions, praying and thinking things through, and seeking counsel from godly and wise friends. The word “snared” carries the idea of being lured and enticed. The word “taken” means being captured and seized. This is what the strange woman has as her focus. Therefore, the father says in verse 3:
Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend.
Deliverance is possible, but only if the son follows his father’s precise directions. First, he must humble himself, but not in the ordinary way. This word carries the idea of throwing yourself to the ground; to stomp down; to lie prostrate. This is quite the picture! The father is teaching his son to do whatever it takes to get out of his bad decision.
And if that isn’t enough, the father directs his son to “make sure thy friend.” The phrase “make sure” carries the idea of acting stormily or boisterously or arrogantly; to act insolently, and to storm against. I’ve never heard of counsel like this before, but it’s incredibly powerful. God is teaching us that we can’t take compromise casually. We must fight fanatically and without any loss of time.
Therefore, when you find yourself regretting decisions that you wish you hadn’t made, the father says,
Give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids. Deliver thyself as a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
There it is—if you make a foolish promise, do whatever it takes, at whatever cost, to reverse it. Don’t even sleep until it is resolved! The father illustrates this most important lesson with a gazelle. If a gazelle is trapped, it will go so far as to kill itself in its attempts to escape. While the father is by no means promoting suicide, he is using this illustration to demonstrate the extreme action needed for the son to get out of his unhealthy relationship and careless promise.
The father doesn’t end there. He continues with a seemingly unrelated section on ants and laziness:
Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.
Do you see the connection? It is so easy to drag our feet when faced with a difficult task. What the son needs now is action. He shouldn’t even sleep until this is resolved. If he waits, the price will be too high. The strange woman will cost him dearly in the end. She will demand more than his money. You can be sure that she will want to negotiate with the son. She will desire to discuss this over cocktails, get to know him more, later inviting him to her house to talk things over in private. . . need I say more?
This isn’t about paying financial debts for a friend. It’s about paying the price of one’s own reputation and the loss of one’s vigor, valor, virtue, value, and vitality (Proverbs 5:9-11). While there is infinitely more to discover in this lesson, I invite you to pause for a moment and digest these important truths, so relevant to today’s corrupted culture.
To reinforce these truths with our children, there are several books and audio dramas I would like to recommend. As they navigate this enticing and distracting culture, they need powerful role models to demonstrate how to face difficult decisions and choose what is right, even when it may cost them their friends.
Sincerely,
Dr. Mark Hamby
Recommended Reading:
Throw Me Overboard (Ages 9-14)
Frozen Fire (book and audio) (Ages 9-14)
Clean Your Boots, Sir? (Ages 9-14)
Stick to the Raft (Ages 9-14)
Hand on the Bridle (Ages 9-14)
The Lost Clue (ages 12+)
King Jack (book and audio) (Ages 9-14)
