Honest and Truthful Friends - Pt 6
by Professor Colin Smith
Reflective Reading: II Samuel 16-19
Children need to make friends who are honest and truthful. They should avoid making friends who lie and cheat. The Bible says the LORD hates lies (Proverbs 6), and our opponent, the Devil, is called the father of all lies (John 8:44). If relationships were a house, then lies and dishonesty would be termites. Termites eat the support beams of a house, destroying it from within until it collapses under its own weight.
In 2 Samuel 19, David is presented with a difficult decision. Two men have come to him, telling him two different stories. David knows one of them is lying, but he is not sure which one.
So here’s what’s going on.
Ten chapters earlier, there was a servant of Saul’s house named Ziba. David wanted to show kindness for Jonathan's sake so he called Ziba and asked him if there were any living relatives of Saul. Ziba brings Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan, to David, and David restores to Mephibosheth all the lands of Saul, his grandfather. He then tasks Ziba and his 15 sons to work the land for Mephibosheth.
In 2 Samuel 16, David is fleeing Jerusalem and the rebellion of his son Absalom. Ziba comes to David with a couple saddled donkeys and supplies for David and his men. David asks Ziba where Mephibosheth, his master, is. Ziba tells David his master Mephibosheth said, “Today the house of Israel will restore the kingdom of my father to me.” So David gave Ziba all that belonged to Mephibosheth.
In 2 Samuel 19, David is returning to Jerusalem after the end of Absalom’s rebellion when he is greeted by Mephibosheth. Mephibosheth had not cared for his feet, trimmed his mustache, or washed his clothes since the revolution of Absalom had started. This indicated that Mephibosheth was mourning over the rebellion against David. David asked Mephibosheth why he had not left Jerusalem with him. Mephibosheth told David that his servant Ziba had deceived him. Ziba had saddled a donkey for himself but left Mephibosheth behind. This, according to Mephibosheth, was because Ziba wanted to go to David and slander Mephibosheth, saying, "Today the house of Israel will restore the kingdom of my father to me."
David knows both men cannot be telling the truth. Either Ziba is lying, or Mephibosheth is lying. A compelling case can be made for either man. Stop for a second and ask yourself: “Which one do I believe, and why?” This story is a classic example of Proverbs 18:17, the first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.
David's ruling finds the answer to the question, "Who is lying?" David orders Mephibosheth and Ziba to split the lands of Saul. Although this may seem like a strange ruling, David’s logic is brilliant. You see, from David's perspective, both sides were at best being economical with the truth, which is still a lie by omission.
Mephibosheth most likely supported David and did not want to replace David, but he also wanted to avoid the dangers involved in joining David politically. Ziba probably used Mephibosheth's unwillingness to fully commit to David as an opportunity to paint Mephibosheth in an unfavorable light which exaggerated the truth. Seeing both sides are not without blame, David awards and punishes both sides appropriately; he lets them have each other. Splitting the land makes Mephibosheth and Ziba neighbors. Sometimes people deserve each other.
Understanding David's ruling and wanting to escape Ziba, Mephibosheth told David that Ziba could have all the land because he was simply happy knowing David was safe. While this concession seems like it proves Mephibosheth's innocence, practically, it is the most self-serving thing for Mephibosheth to do. Presumably, Mephibosheth would continue to live in David's house. There he would continue to receive the best care. Giving up the land was no big deal for Mephibosheth since he had no way to care for it. But ultimately, giving up the ground to Ziba was a thoughtless and foolish move that would deprive Mephibosheth's young son Micha (2 Samuel 9:12) of his inheritance. Mephibosheth was only thinking of himself.
However, there is no indication in the text that Mephibosheth gave up the land or that he lived in David's house after this point. It is also worth mentioning that Mephibosheth's character is brought into question by his second name in 1 Chronicle 8:34, Merib-Baal, which means "Baal (the Canaanite god) is my advocate."
The lies of Mephibosheth and Ziba eroded the two men's relationship. Their lies also destroyed both of their relationships with David. From this point on, David has nothing to do with either of these two men. Lies erode and tear down connections. This is why we should teach our children to make friends with those who have the character qualities of honesty and truthfulness.
Books on Honesty and Truthfulness:
Silver Cup, Illustrated (Ages 2-5)
Basil, or Honesty and Industry (Ages 6-11)
Basket of Flowers (Ages 9-14)
Stick to the Raft (Ages 9-14)
